My bloody husband is amazing at sleep. He could fall asleep ANYWHERE. I really mean it. ANYWHERE, ANYTIME. I’m so bloody jealous.

I’m the opposite. Struggle to fall asleep, struggle to get back to sleep, struggle with sleep in general.

It’s true that parenting tests your teamwork. Thankfully my melatonin-soaked life lobster agreed to do as many of the night interruptions as he could. Obviously, when the kids were tiny, I was the one in possession of the boobs, so he had a good reason to pass the buck, but these days I give him a shove and roll over. What a legend.

To cash in on uninterrupted sleep, I’ve inflicted a curfew on myself. 10.30pm works really well for me. I fall asleep quite quickly and wake up at 6.15am feeling like I can ‘rise up and attack the day with enthusiasm’ – that’s a postcard I have stuck to the teabag box. It’s a good mantra and reminds me of the importance of good sleep for good days.

But with all that anal planning, a small child who only wants Mummy can flip the deal on its head. Cue me wide awake for several hours in the dark of night. I even have headphones next to the bed so I can listen to something soothing and calm my racing thoughts. And the next day can be challenging as I try to keep lethargy at bay.

And we admit to being pretty lax with letting the kids sleep in our bed if they need some love. They usually come to my side of the bed for an invitation under the covers. It’s so irregular these days and I enjoy the closeness. It won’t be long before they’re grungy adolescents who cringe at my touch, so any excuse to snuggle is taken.

Our middle boy loved to spoon when he joined us in bed and I enjoyed it, but our daughter prefers the starfish. I can’t handle that. No sleep can be got with six inches of the kingsize. So, desperate measures call for creative thinking.

One night I huffed and puffed until I couldn’t take it any more. I grabbed my pillow and turned around. Suddenly I’d discovered the top and tail approach! Now I get brilliant sleep! And I can stop the starfish from falling out of the bed with my legs too!

How did I not know about this before?